Formal Wedding Ceremony Scripts

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The Marry Me In Indy!
​Vow Writing Guide

The words below are my opinion.  Do with them what you will.  Every wedding officiant has an opinion.  My goal is to help inspire you to make your wedding ceremony your own.  If this is not the path to perfection for you, no worries!  You don’t have to write your own vows, and I have plenty of material already written that you are welcome to use.
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A few years ago, I received a question: How do we write our wedding vows?  
 
I had never really given any thought to how to write your own wedding vows.  The words and vows you share with your partner on your wedding day are thoughts and feelings that come from the heart.  There is no right or wrong.  
 
What they were really looking for was an outline to help them collect and organize their thoughts. 
 
When I’m helping a couple personalize their wedding ceremony, they often ask if I need their vows ahead of time or if I need to check them and make sure they are OK.  I don’t.  I’m happy to read them over if you want me to, but I would never correct you.  You can’t get it wrong - ever.  I’m certainly in no position to judge your heart!
 
Couples are sometimes afraid their vows won’t ‘match up’ with their partner’s vows.  I think that’s impossible.  We all have our own ways of expressing ourselves, and by your wedding day, you probably already know enough about your partner to know each other’s hearts and intentions.  
 
I will always remember a wedding I officiated where the groom had pages of vows.  We were all in tears listening to him express his love for his wife and her son.  When he was done, the bride took out a small sheet of steno paper and said exactly the same things in just a few sentences.  It was sincere and perfect. ​
I Do!

The only thing I really have to do when I marry a couple is to obtain their verbal consent to the marriage. 

"Do you?" "I Do!"  "Do you?"  "I Do!"  "We're done!"  Or, I now pronounce you married! 

Many think of these as wedding vows, and they are.  Some couples think of wedding vows as something you write yourself, your thoughts and feelings about each other.   We often use these options as a declaration of intent, followed by your own vows, or use them, and they serve very easily as both the Declaration of Intent and the vows.  

Many couples may use these as prompts for writing their own vows, because sometimes you need a little help to get your own feelings to flow.

Christian Readings can be scripture - from any translation available - some of the modern versions of scripture are lovely in a wedding ceremony.  Christian wedding readings can also be poetry written from a faith-based perspective. Hymns and traditional prayers can also be great options.  
Secular Wedding Readings
This is a selection of non-religious "readings."  That means book passages or poetry about love and marriage that are appropriate for a wedding ceremony. The practice of having readings and readers has become less popular in recent years.  BUT - if you are looking for inspiration for a wedding ceremony, these are a great place to start.  I often start with a passage and then create a wedding ceremony based on the tone of the reading, as well as the subject matter. 

It's all about finding what's right for you!
Who supports this couple in marriage?
The Declaration of Support can be a father giving his daughter away, or asking parents and everyone present if they support the couple in the choice to marry.  
Traditionally, the bride is escorted down the aisle by her father, and then we ask, "Who gives this woman to be married?"  That still happens, but a lot less often than it used to.  Yes, the bride is usually walked down the aisle by someone.  It might be her dad, stepdad, or both!  She may be escorted down the aisle by both parents.  She may be escorted by a brother, uncle, her children, or she may choose to walk alone.  Not to mention grooms! Grooms get to have their moment, too!  Many grooms walk down the aisle with their parents. It may not be quite the same fanfare as a traditional bride, but it's still a thing!

If two men or two women are getting married, they may each have their own idea of what they want on their wedding day.  One partner may take on a traditional role, but sometimes they both want to have their moment walking down the aisle on their wedding day.  There is no right or wrong, only possibilities!  

I may ask who gives this woman in marriage?  Or, who presents this woman to be married? I may ask nothing at all.  More often, we are asking ALL of the parents for their formal blessing.  You can check out some options below. 

Keep in mind, the "presentation of the bride" has always traditionally been the first thing we say during a ceremony.  If we are asking for a parent's blessing, I usually work it into the ceremony a little later, where it flows better and makes more sense.  
A Moment of Silence in your Wedding Ceremony.
A moment of silence in your wedding is a highly personal choice.  Some couples always want to remember those who have passed away during their wedding.  For some families it shows respect for their loved ones and it would be disrespectful not.  Other couples really don't care.  It's a day of joy and celebration for them; what's done is done, no reason to bring up the dead.  If I'm your wedding officiant, it's your decision.  I don't care either way.
When is a Moment of Silence a Good Idea?
If you have a grandparent who has recently passed away and their widow is present, it can be very meaningful. 

They probably talked and dreamed about being at your wedding together.  Acknowledging they are there in spirit is appropriate and very sweet.  

If you were in the military and spoke of being at each other's weddings someday, ​and some of you didn't make it home, it's appropriate to remember those people.  

If everyone present is emotionally over a recent death. 

​It's a joyful and happy occasion to remember everyone as part of your family.
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When is a Moment of Silence Not a Good Idea During Your Wedding Ceremony?
If someone has recently passed away, it may hurt some people too much. 

Sometimes it's just too soon.  I had a bride who had literally planned most of her wedding with her grandmother, and she passed away before the wedding.  She was wearing her grandmother's wedding ring and carrying her memories in her bouquet.  She had a hard time keeping the tears back in general.  

In another situation, there was another family member that would completely fall apart when the deceased family member was mentioned.  We just chose to keep it out.  ​
I like to start a wedding ceremony by welcoming your guests to your wedding.  It can be done before the ceremony actually begins, with opening announcements or after an opening prayer.  I start all of the ceremonies I perform by quietly welcoming the couple and then welcoming the guests.

Below are some great ways to welcome your family and friends to your wedding ceremony.  I often look at them as writing prompts. 

​Sometimes, I like to begin with:

"Family, friends, honored guests, I'd like to warmly welcome you to the celebration of the marriage of Name and Name..." 

Other times:
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"Welcome to Name and Name's Wedding! Together, they have built an amazing life, today we celebrate with joy, their choice to keep building a more amazing life as a married couple!" 

After that, I may add something more personal about the group gathered. 
Opening Prayers for your Wedding Ceremony
I perform a lot of semi-religious wedding ceremonies.  Often, an opening prayer might be the only Christian element added to an otherwise non-religious ceremony.  Here are some wonderful options.

These can also be used as closing prayers. ​
What are the different parts of a wedding ceremony? 
Maybe you are writing your own wedding ceremony or maybe you are putting together the program for your wedding before you send it off to the printer and you are asking yourself, how exactly does this work?  Are there different parts of a ceremony and, what are they called?

The first thing I want to point out is, there is no right or wrong.  There are no absolutes.  If you are getting married in a church or religious institution, they have a set way of performing a wedding.  Ask them what that is and then use their information to print your program.  (Trying to decide if you should print a program? Click Here)  If you are writing your own ceremony or working with a professional wedding officiant, it’s really up to you what you put in your wedding ceremony.  I’ve put this website together for myself and the couples I marry and anyone else who would like to use it.  There may be other words people use or have been traditionally used. This is my personal version and it’s always open to revision.  I want you to have the wedding ceremony you want and I make suggestions and share my experiences so you have more information to make your own decisions. If I’m your wedding officiant, I look it as my job to support your decisions.  ​