The Presentation and Declaration of Support xo

Do We Have Your Blessing for this Marriage?

Traditionally, the bride is escorted down the aisle by her father and then we ask, "Who gives this woman to be married?"  That still happens, but a lot less often than it used to.  Yes, the bride is usually walked down the aisle by someone.  It might be her dad, stepdad, or both!  She may be escorted down the aisle by both parents.  She may be escorted by a brother, uncle, her children, or she may choose to walk alone.  Not to mention grooms! Grooms get to have their moment too!  Many grooms walk down the aisle with their parents. It may not be quite the same fanfare as a traditional bride, but it's still a thing!

If two men or two women are getting married, they may each have their own idea of what they want on their wedding day.  One partner may take on a traditional role, but sometimes they both want to have their moment walking down the aisle on their wedding day.  There is no right or wrong, only possibilities!  

I may ask who gives this woman to be married?  Or, who presents this woman to be married? I may ask nothing at all.  More often, we are asking ALL of the parents for their formal blessing.  You can check out some options below. 

Keep in mind, the "presentation of the bride" has always traditionally been the first thing we say during a ceremony.  If we are asking for a parents blessing, I usually work it into the ceremony a little later where it flows better and makes more sense.  

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Presentation 1

Who gives this woman/man/person to be married (to this woman/man/person)?

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Presentation 2

Who presents this woman/man/person to be married to this (woman/man/person)?

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Presentation 3

Who gives this woman/man/person and woman/man/person to be married to each other?

All Parents answer:  "We Do."

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Presentation 4

​I’ve never met a father who was willing to give up his daughter, so instead I ask, do I have your blessing for this marriage?

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Blessing 1

Name and Name, it is your choice to love each other and live together as lifelong companions in marriage. This will be easier with the love and support of your families.  At this time, I ask for your parents'blessings. 

​Who stands by Name and Name supporting their choice to marry.?

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Declaration of Community Support.
​We are with you today and always.

​Asking for the support of your family and friends is a great idea.  With less brides wanting to be "given" in marriage, asking for the blessing of your parents is becoming more popular.  It honors the fact that you have two parents that support you - not just a father.  It also honors both sets of parents by asking for the blessing of both sets of parents and/or step parents.  It can also include your extended family and wedding guests as well.  Below, is a script I use often.   ​

Blessing 2
This has quickly become my most popular option.  

The marriage of Name and Name brings together two different families and their two unique story lines.  Today, a new chapter in their lives begins to unfold. Although this relationship was formed out of the love these two have found in each other, their marriage will ultimately be blessed by the support of their families.  At this time, I formally ask for that blessing.

Name’s Mother and father, Name and Name, do you offer this couple your goodwill?  Do you welcome Name as a member of your family and give him/her/them your  love and affection?  Parents: We do.

Name’s Mother and father, Name and Name, do you offer this couple your goodwill?  Do you welcome Name as a member of your family and give him/her/them your  love and affection?  Parents: We do.

All of you here present, As these two people join together in marriage, they ask for the support and love of not only their families, but of their friends as well. On this day, they ask that you be more than only Friends, family and honored guests, will you recognize this special union as well?  Welcoming the marriage of Name and Name into your lives?  If so, please say, “we will.” 

Thank you!

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Blessing 3

The relationship between children and their parents is one that’s often understated, yet very deep.  And one of the rare occasions when it can be publicly acknowledged is at a wedding ceremony. On this occasion, Name's parents proudly stand here beside their son/daughter representing his/her/their family. And Name’s parents proudly stands beside their son/daughter representing his/her/their family. They are displaying, for all of us to see, their individual and combined love for their children.

Now, I ask, who brings these two people to be married to each other?

Parents answer:  "We do.”

And are you all willing to sustain and strengthen this marriage by giving the two of them the public commitment of your love and support through all the ups and downs ahead of them?

Parents answer:  “We are.”

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Blessing 4

A successful marriage is made up of two people, each putting the other before themselves and giving to that person 100% first, last, and always. However, as Name and Name’s journey unfolds there will be opportunities and challenges that will strain, and perhaps even weaken, them. They may move back and forth between the seasons of their love, sometimes strong as the autumn harvest time, and sometimes tender, tentative, and fragile as the springtime shoots that brave the frost. In those times they will need the support and caring of all of you who have come to celebrate this joyous union So in the joining of these two families, I ask all of you to take a vow in their presence and in the presence of each other.

Do you pledge to honor and support their marriage? Do you pledge to be neutral and support them equally?
And will you always be there for them and embrace them with the love of family and the joy of sharing your lives with them?
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“We will.”

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