The Marry Me In Indy Formal Wedding Ceremony Guide.

I became a wedding officiant so that I could help any couple get married any way they want. You can express yourself in your ceremony any way you want.  That means you can choose what you want to say - or don't want to say.  Or what is said and not said!  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and if there is something you want to do, you should be able to do it.  It's YOUR wedding!!

What kind of wedding ceremony do you want? 

Your wedding can be short and sweet. It's not the length of your ceremony, it's the words you say that count.  You can have a fun wedding ceremony! Your wedding ceremony can be light-hearted  and express your personality. You can have the traditional ceremony you've always dreamed of.  If there is a way you have always envisioned your wedding ceremony, we can create that.  We can bring your fantasy to life.  

 We can create a ceremony that makes you, and everyone in your family happy.  We can bring together different traditions and beliefs in a way that is beautiful, honoring everyone from the most religious guest to the least religious. We can find a happy medium for everyone. 

I  believe that if we perform a truly beautiful ceremony, most people will not notice what we did, or did not say.  The goal to have everyone walk away thinking, 'That was a great ceremony!  Let's celebrate!"
Picture
Photo taken at the pergola at Balmoral House by Casey and Her Camera.

How To Use This Guide.

Start with reading a ceremony.

Many people really don't know where to begin.  When I sit down with a couple and ask if they have any questions, it is not uncommon for them not to have enough information to know what questions to ask.  I think it helps so much to just read a ceremony.  ​

Find your tone.

I think one of the first things to start with is finding your tone.  What's the vibe of your wedding?  What do you want your ceremony to feel like?  Romance? Poetry? Traditional - whatever that means to you. Do you want a Christian ceremony? A basically non-religious ceremony with a prayer?  Do you want Jewish elements?  How about a handfasting? 

One of the first questions I ask a couple is, "Will you be drunk during your ceremony?"  If the answer is yes, we create a ceremony that goes along with that mood.  We wouldn't create a religious ceremony for drunk people. We'd create a really fun ceremony!!

Most couples want something light-hearted.  They want to feel the love!  

You might want a more serious wedding.  Not that you won't be feeling the love, but because you need certain religious elements to honor your family traditions. (Even if they aren't yours.) See our Christian-Lite Ceremony, or our Inter-faith Jewish ceremony. Yes, I know what a Ketubah is, and I've signed one!  I've also had a bride insist on breaking her OWN glass!

Maybe you just graduated at the top of your law class and now the entire law firm - including your boss is going to be there and it needs to be appropriate!  (See Formal Ceremony 10!)

Your heart may be breaking because the most important people in your lives won't be at your wedding ceremony.  We can make that a beautiful experience too.  
If you are a reader and want to scroll through all the ceremony information at once, click on the first link below.  It will take to Formal Wedding Ceremony 1.  You can then scroll through all 10 of my pre-written ceremonies. It's in blog form, and each ceremony is an article. 
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I have also created a link to each individual ceremony, along with a brief explanation.  That way, you can skip over the ceremonies you know won't interest you. 

If you are in a hurry, read Formal Wedding Ceremony #2 and #3.  #3 is the most popular.  #2 is the most traditional and the best template to use to create your own ceremony - religious or non-religious.

This can be such a fun experience!  I recommend every couple be in the mood.  A cold winter day can be great for this!   But I also know many couples choose about 4 days before their wedding day because they forgot about it... 

  Make Your Ceremony Your Own.

Once you have read a ceremony and have gotten a feel for it, you may want to tweak it a bit. Maybe not. You might just say - We like #10 and leave it at that! 

Your Ceremony Document

I send every couple a link to a Google shared document set to edit.  There are questions for you to answer about you and your ceremony specifically.  We also use the document to create your ceremony.  You are welcome to cut, paste, and edit your ceremony any way you like. You can also create your ceremony in any type of document you want and email it to me directly at [email protected].  Not everyone likes google!

The Questions I ask about you and your ceremony.

Some of these questions may not apply to you.
  • What are your full names?
  • What names do you go by?
  • Do you have preferred pronouns?
  • How do you want to be pronounced after you are married?
  • How many people are in your wedding party?
  • Do you have a wedding planner/Day of Event Coordinator?
  • Will anyone be participating in your ceremony? Readers? 
  • Do you want an unplugged ceremony?
  • Do you want a photo moment?
  • Will the bride/groom be escorted down the aisle?
  • Do you want me to ask who gives(or presents) this person to be married? (Or not)
  • Do you want a moment of silence?
  • Will you be sharing your personal vows during the ceremony?
  • Will you exchange rings?  
  • Who will have the rings during the ceremony?
  • Do you want a unity ceremony?
  • Do you have any announcements for your guests after the ceremony?​
These are additional questions you may want to answer that will add more personalization to your ceremony. 
  • What are some pivotal moments in your relationship?
  • What was your first official date or favorite date?
  • Tell me about the first time you met.
  •  When did you fall in love?
  • Why do you want to get married?
  • Favorite way to spend the day together?

The Parts of a Ceremony

There are many possible parts of a wedding ceremony.  You don't have to use them all.  Legally, you just have to say, "I do." and then I pronounce that you are married.  How you say, "I do," how I pronounce you married, and everything else in between is up to you! 

My pre-written ceremonies do not have all these parts, but they can be added - or taken away.  

ALL OF THE PARTS OF THE WEDDING CEREMONY ARE OPTIONAL!  You do not need to include them. I just want you do know that they exist. 

As you scroll down the page, you will see links to read all of the different pre-written ceremonies.  After that, you will see link to all the different parts of a ceremony.  If you follow the link, it will lead you to an explanation of each part and have several options for each part.  You can mix and match parts of the ceremony.   
  • Announce an "Unplugged Ceremony." Or make any pre-ceremony announcements.
  • Procession of the wedding party
  • Procession of the Bride/Groom
  • Who gives (or presents) this woman to be married?  
  • Photo Moment 
  • Opening Prayer 
  • Welcoming
  • Moment of Silence
  • Recognition of Parents/Asking for parents blessing.
  • Words about Love and Marriage
  • Readings 
  • Declaration of Intent - The "I do's."
  • Vows to children
  • Meaning of the Rings
  • Blessing of the Rings 
  • Ring Exchange
  • Unity Ceremony
  • Final Words
  • Closing Prayer/Blessing
  • Pronouncement
  • Fist Kiss
  • Breaking of the Glass
  • Instructions for the guests after the ceremony

Formal Wedding Ceremony Scripts

Follow the links to read the ceremony scripts.  You might find the perfect ceremony for you already written, or find the feel for the ceremony you want and can use it as a starting point to create the perfect ceremony for you.
Follow this link to Formal Ceremony 1 and scroll through all of them.
This ceremony is romantic.  I think it has a poetic and kind of spiritual feel. You can add your own poetry choices or literary quotes.
This ceremony is the perfect template for creating your own ceremony. You can mix and match with religious and non-religious options.
This is a modern romantic ceremony. This is my most popular choice! It's inclusive and heartfelt.
This is a short, sweet, non-religious ceremony.  I created it to be traditional-lite. It's perfect for many!
This is my Christian-lite ceremony. I created it to be Christian without being religious.
This is a Secular Humanist ceremony.  For when you want Carl Sagan and Einstein quotes!
This is an interfaith Jewish ceremony. Break the glass and the Seven Blessings.
This is a modern-day handfasting. It's pagan-lite.  I'm not a pagan, but I like this.
This is a traditional Christian Ceremony with a bit of a Baptist feel to it. 
This is a classic, well-balanced romantic ceremony with a little more substance.
A Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Your Own Wedding Vows. 
This is a Classic Civil Ceremony Script.  I think this can be very romantic!
This is a link to my small wedding ceremony script guide. There are shorter options.
These are some additional Christian wedding ceremonies to choose from. 
Questions to get to know you a little better.
A step-by-step guide to writing your own wedding vows
These are actual vows, not the "I do's."  I hope they inspire you to write your own!
More ceremony scripts...
These scripts were written by or for couples who wanted something different.  They may work for you too! Or they may inspire you to create your own ceremony.  Remember, you can find parts you like, and then we can put them all together to create something new.
This also includes an Harry Potter influenced Unbreakable Vow.
This couple quoted Dumbledore, Disney, and made their own rings!
This short and sweet ceremony is inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poetry.
These two rivals had a LOT of fun with their unity ceremony! It was a lot of fun!
This ceremony includes Dr. Who, Battlestar Gallactica, The Hobbit, Metallica, and the Dalai Lama.
They met working on a cruise ship.  He literally played Peter Pan. This is their script!
This couple's story really made this short and sweet ceremony!
This ceremony was inspired by the Hindu Seven Blessings for a marriage. 
This is an intimate ceremony written by two men.
This is a simple, romantic handfasting. It's a little more fun!
Ivorie found this on another website and customized it for her and Shaun. 
This is another well-thought out handfasting created by a bride.
This script included different colored cords and family participation.
This is a more traditional handfasting for a smaller, intimate group.
The bride was pagan, the groom was not. This is a perfect mix. 

Parts of a Wedding Ceremony

You are welcome to exchange one part of a ceremony for another option.  The ceremony you like might not have all the parts you want.  You can add or delete anything.  
Polite ways to say your guests to turn off their phones.
Give your guests an opportunity to take a photo before putting their phones away.
Simple opening prayers to add to your ceremony.
Welcome your guests to your wedding.
Ways to remember or acknowledge those who couldn't make it or have passed on.
Asking for the love and support of your community.
Ways to express what love and marriage mean to you. 
Poems, book passages, and thoughts written for a wedding.
Bible verses, traditional prayers and Christian poetry.
If you are looking for something a little more offbeat, these may be for you!
Spiritual and multi-faith readings. Hindu, Asian, Rumi, Native American and more.
TV, Movies, Star Ward, The Beatles, Dr Who, Pooh Bear and more.
The Declaration of Intent - or the "I do's."  Non-religious.
The Declaration of Intent - or the "I do's." Christian options.
What your wedding rings mean to you.
Christian Ring Blessings
Non-Religious Ring Exchanges.
Christ-Centered Ring Exchanges.
Non-religious blessings and final words for your ceremony. 
Christian prayers and blessings to end your ceremony.
How to pronounce you married!!
 Sand, candles, wine and letter boxes, tree plantings, and more!
After all this time?  Always! There are scripts here too!
There are several meanings for the breaking of the glass.
“You are the friend to whom my soul is attached as to its better half. You are dearer to me than language has the power of telling.”

Frances Burney