​Welcome

Welcome to this celebration of love and the blessing of the new life being joined together by the marriage of Bride and Groom. They come to dedicate themselves to God and to each other, and with His eternal help, to fashion their house into a home, their family into a unity of His Kingdom, and to achieve within their lives a hint of eternity. Bride and Groom have come to publicly proclaim their love and devotion through holy marriage. ​​

Maybe you are writing your own wedding ceremony or maybe you are putting together the program for your wedding before you send it off to the printer and you are asking yourself, how exactly does this work?  Are there different parts of a ceremony and, what are they called?

The first thing I want to point out is, there is no right or wrong.  There are no absolutes.  If you are getting married in a church or religious institution, they have a set way of performing a wedding.  Ask them what that is and then use their information to print your program.  (Trying to decide if you should print a program? Click Here)  If you are writing your own ceremony or working with a professional wedding officiant, it’s really up to you what you put in your wedding ceremony.  I’ve put this website together for myself and the couples I marry and anyone else who would like to use it.  There may be other words people use or have been traditionally used. This is my personal version and it’s always open to revision.  I want you to have the wedding ceremony you want and I make suggestions and share my experiences so you have more information to make your own decisions. If I’m your wedding officiant, I look it as my job to support your decisions.  ​

It has become very popular to announce an unplugged ceremony.  It's when you ask your guests to silence and put away cell phones and refrain from taking pictures during the wedding.  There are opinions about this and it can be worded in many different ways. 

Many venues provide cute signs, or you may choose to invest in one for your ceremony thinking it will do the trick.  I think the signs are really cute but I think it's better to say something at the right time during the ceremony so guest actually get the message. 

This is not for everyone - and for more than one reason.  You may know your family better and know it's pointless to ask!  Some couples simply ask guests to stay seated during their ceremony instead of standing up and taking pictures. Some couples want you to keep the wedding off of social media.  

I talked to a  photographers that said she offers a discount if you announce an unplugged ceremony! ​

O God, Creator of us all, we thank you for the gift of life, and on this day we thank you especially for the joy that Name and Name have found in each other, and for the promises, they will make before you. Bless all of our families and friends who are present with us on this special occasion. We also remember those who couldn't be here today, particularly  (you can name people here if you like). We pray, O God, that you remain with them as a partner in their marriage. Grant to them, and to us all, love and understanding all of our days. Amen

Heavenly Father, we gather here together because you have promised that wherever 3 or more are gathered in your name, you will be in the midst of them.  We ask for your presence here, as we join Name and Name in marriage. We ask your blessings over this ceremony as Name and Name make their vows to each other.  Stand by them throughout their marriage and fill them with your perfect love so that they may grow in their love for you and for each other throughout their marriage and their lives.  In Jesus name we pray.  Amen

Father in heaven, You ordained marriage for your children, and you gave us love. We present to You Name and Name, who come this day to be married. May the covenant of love they make be blessed with true devotion and spiritual commitment. We ask that You, God, will give them the ability to keep the covenant they have made. When selfishness shows itself, grant generosity; when mistrust is a temptation, give moral strength; when there is misunderstanding, give patience and gentleness; if suffering becomes a part of their lives, give them a strong faith and an abiding love. Amen.​

Heavenly Father, we invite you here today as we celebrate the joining of Name and Name in Marriage.  We acknowledge and praise you as the creator and source of unconditional and unending love,  We pray your loving spirit be poured over this wedding ceremony today. As Name and Name make their vows,  promising their unconditional love and faithfulness to each other, may they be reminded, just as your love is poured anew over each of our lives every day, their love for each other is also continually renewed and stregnthened daily. As all of us here witness this joyous and sacred act of marriage, may each of us be encouraged in our own relationships, growing every closer to you, and to each other, cherishing one another and the special love and friendships we share.  As we pray for those here today, we also remember those who could not be here today, we know we are all together in spirit, eternally connected through your perfect love.  Amen.

​Welcome!  We are gathered here today to celebrate and to witness the joining of Name and Name in marriage. As they promise to love, trust in that love, honor one another as individuals, and anticipate with joy spending the rest of their lives together. They are surrounded by you - their friends and family.  Thank you for gathering here to witness their marriage and to share in the joy of this special occasion.

Welcome Everyone!  Thank you for traveling from far and wide to be here today as Name and Name are joined in Marriage. Each of you has played an important part in their lives helping to make them the people they are.  Your love for them has fueled the fire for them to find the true and lasting love that we celebrate today.  They are grateful for each you and are honored by your presence here with them today.  ​

We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate an act of deep love. Name and Name, in their devotion, respect, and love for each other wish to unite in marriage, and to dedicate themselves to each other’s happiness and well-being as life mates and partners. On behalf of them, I welcome you all.
Although this is their day, it is also a tribute to all of you. For knowing you and interacting with you has helped to make them who they needed to be to find each other. They would like to thank you all for that. You all hold a place in their hearts reserved for those that they have chosen to call Family and Friends and they are deeply grateful for each and every one of you here today.

At this time, we would like to take a moment to remember those who are not here with us today.  Those who could not be here or those who have gone on to greater things (or those who are deeply missed).  We know that they are here with us in spirit.  (We can list names here if you like) 
Can add:  We know their force is with us, always.

​At this time, we'd like to ask for a moment of silence to remember those who are no longer here with us. Even though they're not physically present, they are a key part of the foundation that makes ​Name and Name the people they are today. We cherish our memories of them and all others who live on in our hearts.

This day will be filled with love and joy and laughter and will pass more quickly than can be imagined.  The couple has requested a brief pause to reflect and absorb this moment in their lives; to look, listen, and feel; to fix these sensations in their memories for years to come. Let’s also take this moment to remember those who are not here with us today.  Those who were unable to be here and those who have gone on to greater things.  We know they are here with us in spirit.

The marriage of Name and Name brings together two different families and their two unique story lines.  Today, a new chapter in their lives begins to unfold. Although this relationship was formed out of the love these two have found in each other, their marriage will ultimately be blessed by the support of their families.  At this time, I formally ask for that blessing.

Name’s Mother and father, Name and Name, do you offer this couple your goodwill?  Do you welcome Name as a member of your family and give him/her/them your  love and affection?  Parents: We do.

Name’s Mother and father, Name and Name, do you offer this couple your goodwill?  Do you welcome Name as a member of your family and give him/her/them your  love and affection?  Parents: We do.

All of you here present, As these two people join together in marriage, they ask for the support and love of not only their families, but of their friends as well. On this day, they ask that you be more than only Friends, family and honored guests, will you recognize this special union as well?  Welcoming the marriage of Name and Name into your lives?  If so, please say, “we will.” 

Thank you!

** Formal Wedding Ceremony Guide ** Formal Wedding Ceremony Scripts ** Elopement Ceremony Guide ** Elopement Ceremony Scripts ** Parts of a Wedding Ceremony ** Vow Writing Guide ** Unplugged Ceremony ** Opening Prayers ** Welcoming ** Moment of Silence ** Declaration of Support ** About Love and Marriage ** Non-Religious Readings ** Christian Readings ** Secular I-do's! ** Christian I-do-s! ** Ring Meaning ** Ring Blessings ** Secular Ring Exchanges ** Christian Ring Exchanges ** Unity Ceremonies ** Secular Blessings ** Christian Blessings ** The-pronouncement-Secular  ** The Pronouncement - Christian **

Name and Name, Today, as you two are joined in marriage, there is a vast and unknown future stretching out before you. The possibilities and potentials of your married life are great. We join with you in hoping you make real your dreams!  That you are reborn in each other as you share your loves and dreams, wants and desires and together are enriched by them. Through your commitment to each other, may you grow and nurture a love that makes both of you better people, a love that continues to give you great joy, and also a passion for living that provides you with energy and patience to face the responsibilities of life.There was a time when your lives were two separate paths.  Gradually, they were joined as you grew closer together.  Today, you proclaim to the world your choice to stay on the same path together.  ​

Love has brought Name and Name together. But what do we mean by love? When we love, we see things other people do not. We see beneath the surface to the qualities, which make our beloved special and unique. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty. And to be loved is to be known, as we are known to no other. We who love, can look at each other’s life and say, “I touched his life,” or, “I touched her life,” just as an artist might say, “I touched this canvas.” “Those brushstrokes in the comer of this magnificent mural, those are mine. I was a part of this life, and it is a part of me.” Marriage is to belong to each other through a unique and diverse collaboration, like two threads crossing in different directions, yet weaving one tapestry together. The secret of love and marriage is to be in love and in trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. And it takes faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both. The true art of married life is an intimate, interpersonal journey. It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities, which diminishes neither, but enhances both  It is, ultimately, the emergence of something greater than the individuals could never be alone. ​

Today there will be no dearly beloved, no betrothed, and no ancient rhyme of the married. Today there are no dead languages to solemnize vows that are very much alive and will remain so for a lifetime. Today promises become permanent and friends become family. However, this day is not about the words spoken or the rings exchanged, nor is it about grand pronouncements and recessional marches.

This day – the day of Name and Name’s wedding – is about love.  It's been said, “If love is not all, then it is nothing: this principle, and its opposite, collide down all the years of my breathless tale.”

Name and Name, your breathless tale is about to begin.

If love is not all, then it is nothing.​  Its opposite – If love is all, then it is everything – is going to be the basis for every aspect of your relationship. All you have to do is simply love one another and that love shows through in everything you do for one another, how you treat each other, in good times and bad. Love isn’t just a word; it’s an action. Love isn’t something you say, it’s something you do. Love is genuine, honest, and open, compassionate and kind, passionate and blind, love doesn’t know space or time, nor look through jealous eyes, and in the modified words of Paul in his letter to the Corinthians, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never dies.”

There are many different kinds of love, almost if not all of which are represented here today. There is romantic love, the love of parents and children, of brothers and sisters and family, and love among friends. Not only do Name and Name love one another romantically – and they do, you can see it in every look, every touch, every moment they’re together – they also love one another as friends.  That love and enjoyment of each other as best friends will sustain them through this marriage. In addition, the love collectively in this room, from friends and family, will help sustain and support the promises they make today.

All of us here will help solidify this bond, as these two individuals are joined in marriage.This new journey will be at times richly rewarding and extremely difficult, but, most importantly, it will be a journey you take together.

Marriage is much more than your signatures on a legal contract. You are promising, in front of all these people you love, that you want to be with each other and only each other for the rest of your lives, and that you will do everything in your power to honor the promises you are making here today.For their part, the people who love you will also do everything in their power to try to help you hold up your end of the bargain.

Marriage symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives. This sharing must not diminish, but enhance the individuality of each partner. You do not shed your individuality, for that is what brought you together in the first place. Marriage is the loving declaration that you should be no other than yourself. A lasting marriage is not stagnant. The relationship and each individual are continually growing and developing. Your understanding of each other deepens and evolves. It is not this ceremony or the state of being married that will truly join and hold you together, but your ongoing commitment to your relationship and to the kind of life you wish to make together. In this way, your marriage will not be just a symbol; it will be more than that. It will be an action, something you work actively on every day.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.​

Name and Name, your love for each other is what has brought you to this day and it will be the foundation of your marriage and your life together.   May your love create a safe haven for you both on the journey that lies ahead of you. Remember to lead with your hearts and take the time to do the simple things that will nurture your love. Deeply listen to each other—to your dreams, and to your frustrations. Be helpmates. Be playful in finding new ways to give your love anew to each other every day.  Let your love be an inspiration to others to reach for what is good within us all. May your love be so abundant that you have plenty to share with the rest of us as well. It is your love that has brought us together here today. May it grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year.

Marriage is the beginning of a new life, a chance at fulfilling long held dreams, and an opportunity for great personal and spiritual growth. Marriage endures through the ages of trends and fads. Marriage thrives, and continues to live as a promise of a beautiful dream come true. As long as individuals are drawn together by love, marriage will be a natural unfolding of that relationship.

Feelings come alive at a wedding. Great happiness, some sadness, some apprehension and sometimes pure relief! There is an acute awareness that something special, something that goes to the very heart of life, is about to happen. Something is gone forever, and something is born, brand new and tender; something to be nurtured and cared for, protected and cherished, challenged and strengthened.

A strong and resilient marriage is not an escape from the world but a contribution to it. Name and Name, may you now combine and strengthen your gifts, to be offered as a distinct and beautiful gift to the world; for the world is in need of the beautiful, and the good, and nothing is better suited to evoke that than a good marriage.

And now you stand before this loving community of family and friends, ready to acknowledge to the world: this is the one with whom I choose to create the rest of my life.
​

from "Union"
by Robert Fulghum

"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will" - those late night talks that included "someday and somehow and maybe"- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife”​

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the art of marriage, the little things are the big things…
It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner. It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person, With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body. Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, who won't hold them against me, Who loves me when I'm unlikable, who sees the small child in me, and who looks for the divine potential of me. Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night with someone who thanks God for me, with someone I feel blessed to hold. Because marriage means opportunity to grow in love and friendship, because marriage is a discipline to be added to a list of achievements, because marriage do not fail, people fail when they enter into marriage expecting another to make them whole. Because knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility for my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness. I create me. I take half of the responsibility for my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness. I create me. I take half of the responsibility for my marriage.  Together we create our marriage.  Because of this understanding, the possibilities are limitless. ​

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. Love is the moment before you’re frozen in carbonite, when the girl you’ve had your eye on finally admits what you always knew. Love is when you say, “I know”. Love is do, or do not, there is not try. Wuv…twu wuv…goes on forever and ever. And always says “As you wish”. Love is not cupid’s Arrow, it’s a green one. It happens in a Flash, and makes you feel like you can leap tall buildings in a single bound. It’s a shield, a smash, a hammer, and an iron suit. You should always be in love. Unless you can be Batman. Then you should be Batman. Love is the Ron Swanson of emotions. There is nothing stronger, except Ron Swanson. When it comes to love, treat yo-self. Love says “Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear”. Love is like a prayer. It’s the great American hero, Kevin Bacon, teaching a small town that it’s our time, it’s our time to dance. Love is 1.21 gigawatts. It makes us drive 88 miles per hour, speeding towards our Density. It’s dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria. It’s more powerful than a T-Rex, and almost majestic. Love is our happy thought. Love is magic. Love is asking “After all this time?” and knowing the answer will be “Always."

​I love you, not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out;
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can’t help dimly seeing there, and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life, not a tavern, but a temple; out of the works of my every day not a reproach, but a song.
I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.
You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign. You have done it by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.

When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong along with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade. And of course the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way. ... It’s what’s inside us that matters most. You can really love someone else when you really love yourself. ... As human beings our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has or ever will have. Something inside which is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression. ... Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now, and to go on caring, even through times that may bring us pain.

"But I had a good uncle, my late Uncle Alex. He was my father’s kid brother, a childless graduate of Harvard who was an honest life insurance salesman in Indianapolis. He was well-read and wise. And his principal complaint about other human beings was that they so seldom noticed it when they were happy. So, when we were drinking lemonade under an apple tree in the summer, say, and talking lazily about this and that, almost buzzing like honeybees, Uncle Alex would suddenly interrupt the agreeable blather to exclaim, if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is. So, I do the same now, and so do my kids and grand kids. And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is."

"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity."

Destiny is a mysterious thing.  No matter what you do or where you go, you cannot avoid it.  And, no matter how hard you try, even putting forth your greatest effort, you can’t force it to happen before it's time. This occasion we witness today is the destiny of two souls. There is not a force in the universe that could have kept you apart, and there is nothing they could have done to come together sooner. 
Each of you had to live your lives, lives that were stepping stones that have led to this moment in time, this uniting of hearts and minds that shall be forever more. 
This occasion we celebrate today is the destiny of two souls. Yes, destiny is a marvelous and mysterious thing.

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

Consider our planet. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived here on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Once we lose our fear of being tiny, we find ourselves on the threshold of a vast and awesome Universe which dwarfs -- in time, in space, and in potential -- the tidy anthropocentric proscenium of our ancestors. And for small creatures such as we, this vastness is made bearable only through love.

Marry the one who doesn’t mind doing dishes . . . or the laundry, or the cooking, or who will jump into home improvements to make a house a home or whatever needs to be done.
Marry the one who will support you in everything that matters to your heart, from your silliest ideas to your grandest dreams.
Marry the one who pulls you away from the sink and into a dance in the kitchen.
Marry the one who pays attention and is thoughtful with your wants and needs.
Marry the one who’s willing and happy to binge your favorite show. Each and every season. 
Marry the one who leaps into parenting with both feet. Who loves the children and is willing to learn with an open heart. Who through the hard days, gains their trust and love in return.
Marry the one who teases playfully, sneaks extra kisses, holds your hand in public, and says “I love you” unabashedly.
Marry the one who makes you feel beautiful. Who laughs with you. Who comforts you when you cry.
Marry the one who shows up every day—when life is great, when it’s miserable, when it’s everything in between.
Marry the one who’s willing to brave the rollercoaster—the ups and downs of marriage.
Marry the one who knows love is a choice more than it is a feeling. The one who will choose love, even when it’s hard. The one who will choose YOU, especially when you wouldn’t choose yourself.
Marry the one who’ll walk beside you all the way through. Through the late nights with sick children. Through the early mornings for the stressful job. Through weight gain and gray hair and wrinkles. Through the moments when you’re at your worst. Through weeks, and months, and maybe even YEARS of pain or distance. Through real sickness. Financial troubles. Old age. Devastating loss. Through the moments of wondering if the feeling can ever truly be captured again.
Marry the kind one. The GOOD one. The one who hears you, and sees you, and validates your feelings.
Marry the one who knows you deeply and who loves you as you are . . .
the one who will spend a lifetime trying to be the partner you deserve.
Marry that one . . .
and BE that one . . .
for the one you are marrying.

This is a special place, a place where people have brought beautiful living plants, here to establish them, to nurture and care for them, that they may forever surround us with the beauty we now see. And into this place where we stand, you have brought something beautiful — the relationship that is becoming your marriage. Here you are declaring it and pledging it, promising to establish and nurture it. We are aware of the special beauty between the two of you, just as we are aware of the special beauty of this place. We are with you now in this appropriate place to celebrate your relationship as it is and as it is yet to be, and in doing so, we ask only that you remember how your life together will have the same seasons and needs as this garden. There will be growth like spring and loss like fall; there will be giving as the blossoming flower, and rest as the seed beneath the snow. All the seasons will be yours, but remember, too, that gardens are not must happenings. The more wonderful the garden, the more skilled the gardener. So you will have to care deeply for the life that is yours together, and nurture it. You will have to appreciate your differences and cultivate them. You will have to take care of yourself, if for no other reason than out of love for the other. And you will need the support of family and friends to reach full growth. As you caringly chose this place to declare your marriage, so remember it's lessons for your life together through the seasons that are yours to share. And may those seasons bring you and yours joy and happiness.

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your root was so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener and critic. And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

The Giraffe and the Monkey
 Daniel Thompson

Wherever we go
Whatever we do
Whenever there’s me
I hope that there’s you.

Now Money is Funny, it can make people odd.
You forget to be happy, and you live for your job

And fashion, is a passion, beset with a flaw
You can dress to excess, but you’ll always need more

And a muscle toned body, may sound like a dream
But no body is better, than chocolate ice cream

What I’m trying to say, is that happiness grows
Not through your wages, or body or clothes
But in laughter and love, and in sharing your life.
In the arms of another as husband and wife.

So when you find someone who’s weird just like you
Who laughs when you’re stupid and who makes you laugh too.

When you sit on the sofa, not hiding your flaws.
As imperfectly perfect, as the hand that holds yours.


When the fortune of kings, or purse of a beggar.
Won’t change how it feels, just being together.

When a cuddle and cuppa is all that you need….

Well then…
you’ve found something quite special indeed.

Wherever we go
Whatever we do
Whenever there’s me
I hope that there’s you.​

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.​

Name and Name, do you, with your family and friends as your witnesses, present yourselves willingly and of your own accord to be joined in marriage?

We do

Will you promise to care for each other in the joys and sorrows of life, come what may, and to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together?

We will

Name, please repeat after me:

I, Name, take you Name, to be my Husband/Wife/Partner-in-marriage
I give to you in the presence of these witnesses
My promise to stay by your side,
In sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow,
As well as through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
Comfort you in times of distress
Encourage you to achieve all of your goals,
Laugh with you and cry with you,
Grow with you in mind and spirit
Always be open and honest with you,
And cherish you for as long as we both shall live​​

Groom/Bride, will you have this woman/man to be your wedded wife/husband/spouse to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Will you love her/him/them? Comfort her/him/them, honor and keep her/him/them, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him/them as long as you both shall live?

Please repeat after me:

In the name of God, I, Name, take you, Name, to be my wife/husband/spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.​

The words below are my opinion.  Do with them what you will.  Every wedding officiant has an opinion.  My goal is to help to inspire you to make your wedding ceremony your own.  If this is not this path to perfection for you, no worries!  You don’t have to write your own vows and I have plenty of material already written you are welcome to use.
​
A few years ago, I received the question - How do we write our wedding vows?  
 
I had never really given any thought as to how to write your own wedding vow.  The words and ‘vows’ you share with your partner on your wedding day are thoughts and feelings that come from the heart.  There is no right or wrong.  
 
What they were really looking for was an outline to help them collect and organize their thoughts. 
 
When I’m helping a couple personalize their wedding ceremony they often ask if I need their vows ahead of time or if I need to check them and make sure they are OK.  I don’t.  I’m happy to read them over if you want me to but I would never correct you.  You can’t get it wrong - ever.  I’m certainly in no position to judge your heart!
 
Coupes are sometimes afraid their vows won’t ‘match up’ with their partner’s vows.  I think that’s impossible.  We all have our own ways of expressing ourselves and, by your wedding day, you probably already know enough about your partner to know each other’s hearts and intentions.  
 
I will always remember a wedding I officiated where the groom had pages of vows.  We were all in tears listening to him express his love for his wife and her son.  When he was done, the bride took out a small sheet of steno paper and said exactly the same things in just a few sentences.  It was sincere and perfect. 
​
What exactly are wedding vows?  

Essentially, a vow is a solemn promise to do something.  During a wedding ceremony, as your officiant I ask “Do you take this person to be your husband or wife?”  That’s what the law requires.  Are you promising to fulfill the contract of marriage?  There is a feeling of classic romance when I ask these questions - at least I think there is. 
 ​
Beyond the Basic Vow

I  think when many couples are wondering about writing their own vows, they are thinking beyond the basics.  They want to say heartfelt, charming, and fun statements mixed in with the words of undying love.
 
Saying “I promise to love you, honor, respect, make sure we have gummy bears in the house, and not bother you when the Colts are playing the Patriots,” is probably what more people are looking to create as part of their wedding ceremony.  
​

Do I have to say Obey?

If you want to promise to “Obey” that’s up to you.  What the two of you agree to in your one marriage is between the two of you.  If you choose to use the statement, that’s something you can write into your own vows. ;-)
 
 
Some couples want to quote the vows they have heard over and over again while watching their favorite movie.  I will love you to Infinity and Beyond! Or, “you and me, we’re in a club now…”  
 
 
Sometimes, everything I’ve written above is all a couple needs to hear and their imagination is sparked enough to take it from here.  Others, appreciate more direction.  Below is my direction. 
​

Write Vows for YOU

When the question “do you want to write your own vows?” comes up, so can anxiety!  Many couples very much want to personally express their love for each other on their wedding day, they just don’t want to share it with the 150 people they invited to the wedding.  That is ABSOLUTELY OK!!!
 
Many couples will write their vows for each other and share them privately, before the ceremony.  They may do it during their first look, or, they will read the letters they’ve written for each other alone - with a photographer catching the moment.  They may use those letters as part of a unity ceremony during their actual ceremony creating a memory box or a wine box.  You do NOT have to share your intimacies with everyone!
​
Give yourself permission to be honest.

Keeping in mind that  you don’t have to share your heart with the world, just your spouse, give yourself permission to be honest.  You are sitting down by yourself and thinking  your thoughts and feeling your emotions.  It’s part of a process, it’s not necessarily the final draft.  Life is a process!  Marriage is a process!  Enjoy the process!

​

The (Not so) ULTIMATE Wedding Vow Writing Guide

Here is the guide I have put together.  It’s a guide to help you to do you. Please feel free to make it your own.   
 
These are some questions I ask couples when we start personalizing their ceremony.  They help me to get to know a couple and come up with ceremony ideas that match the tone of their relationship. They help serve as a way for you to collect your thoughts about your relationship.  Sometimes, we get caught in day to day life and we don’t think about our relationship because we are too busy living our relationship.  These questions can help you focus.
 
No one is ever required to answer the questions.  There might be one question that sparks all of your feelings and emotions.  Or, it may just be fun to answer them all.  


1. What are your hopes for the future?
2. What are three pivotal moments in your relationship?
3. Tell me about your first official date.
4. Tell me about the first time you met.
5. What is (or was) your favorite date?
6. When did you fall in love?
7 Why do you want to get married?
8. Favorite way to spend the day together


Now that your juices are flowing, here are some ways to take the thoughts and put them in some sort of order.​


Who is this person to me?

It could be something like “You are my best friend, partner in crime, mother to my children…”  "My True Companion, my soul mate."  
​
What do I love about this person?

It could be one of the 3 pivotal moments in your relationship that made you see that this person is “The One.”  You might tell stories about your relationship here.  “When she made BBQ nachos and started lamenting the end of football season, I knew she was the one for me.”   Or, “when my cat was sick, he took us to the vet and took care of us.”  One groom had moved in with the bride’s parents while he looked for a job in the city the bride had found her dream job in so he could help her pay her rent until he was able to afford the move!

What are you promising?

Some people may just want to be funny, romantic, or serious. You may want to discuss this ahead of time. Maybe the two of you agree, you just want to be funny.   You may want to incorporate a little of everything.  
 
“I promise to support your dreams.”  
“I Promise to march alongside you in protest to support the rights of the underprivileged.”  
“I promise to support your team - unless they are playing my team.”
“I promise to kill the spiders.” 
“I promise to love your children as my own.” 
“I promise not to steal the covers.”  (Pro-tip:  I’ve been married for 30 years.  SEPARATE blankets are a very good idea!)
​

Share your hopes and dreams for your future together.

What do the two of you dream of?  (Don’t feel bad if you don’t!)
You are going to buy land and build a house.  You are going to travel through South-East Asia and eat all the bugs sold in the marketplaces.  You are going to work hard to retire by 50.  You are going to have a house, 2 kids and a dog.  You promise to grow old together, getting to know each other a little more each day…
​

In Good Times and Bad,  In Sickness and in Health.

You may want to elaborate on the traditional wedding vows.  Some couples say “for richer or richer!”  because they never want to be poor - or they KNOW who of them is high maintenance and they LOVE that about them! COVID has changed a lot of families and relationships, mentioning that could be a poignant moment.  Taking care of each other during pregnancy might be a topic too.  
​

End with a bang!

This may be to recite the actual traditional wedding vows with feeling, emotion and gusto! “I take you as my spouse to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part!  You may change these for you.  You may say “for as long as love shall last.” or “Forever and Always.” or anything else you may choose to say. (Pro tip:  Don’t use “for as long as love shall last” unless you have already agreed on that!)
​


Now, take what you’ve learned and make it your own. 


Now that you’ve read the guide, make it your own.  The two of you may want to discuss how you want to approach this together.  Maybe you want to keep it light?  Maybe you want to be very serious.  You may want to put some guidelines together as to how you want to approach this part of your ceremony as a team.  You may not want to share personal stories or anecdotes.  That’s perfectly OK. Don’t do anything that embarasses the other person or makes them feel uncomfortable.  Some couples don’t want their ceremony to be personalized in such a way.  That’s perfectly OK.  Just agree on it ahead of time.  


​
It’s OK to look for inspiration!  


I’ve collected and share vows from all over.  The one thing I will say is this.  Don’t just use someone else's vows as they are written.  If your partner really wants to write their own vows, they will probably have read many examples.  Don’t just use one of those examples and try to pass it off as your own as it’s already written.  It shows you really don’t care.  At least say something like, “I’m really not good at this, but I’ve been inspired by the words of others to help me express myself…”
​
​

Wedding rings are symbols of the journey taken together, a completion of one chapter and the start of another. ​

The rings are the universal symbols of marriage.  They mean many things.  From now on you will wear these rings and they will remind you...  They will remind you of the endless circle that they are.  Like love, there is no beginning and no end.  They will remind you daily that you are married.  Sometimes they will remind you of the commitment that you have made - for better or worse.  But, may they always remind you that there is one other person in the world that has pledged to love you forever, through thick and through thin and with all that they have. ​