Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here to join together Name and Name in Marriage; which is an honorable estate, and therefore, not entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, soberly and with joy.  Into this estate, these two persons present come now to be joined.

Vows

Name, do you take Name to be your lawful wedded husband/wife/spouse, to live together in the Estate of Matrimony? Will you love her/him/them, comfort her/him/them, honor and keep her/him/them in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others keep you only unto her/him/them as long as you both shall live?
 
I do
 
Name, do you take Name to be your lawful wedded husband/wife/spouse, to live together in the Estate of Matrimony? Will you love her/him/them, comfort her/him/them, honor and keep her/him/them in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others keep you only unto her/him/them as long as you both shall live?
 
I do
 
Ring Exchange
 
The marriage ring seals the vows of marriage and represents a promise for eternal and everlasting love.

Name, as you place the ring on Name’s finger, please repeat after me:

 I Name, take you, Name, to be my wedded spouse/wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever.  With this ring, I marry you. 
 
Name, as you place the ring on Name’s finger, please repeat after me:

 I Name, take you, Name, to be my wedded spouse/wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever.  With this ring, I marry you. 
 ​
Those who have chosen to be joined together, let no one put asunder.

Forasmuch as Name and Name have consented together in wedlock, and have witnessed the same before this company of witnesses, and there to have given their pledge, each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a ring, and by joining hands; by the power vested in me by the State of Indiana, I now pronounce you Married.

You may seal this marriage with a kiss. 
​

Welcome

Family, friends, honored guests, on behalf of Name and Name, I would like to warmly welcome you to the celebration of their marriage. They wish to express their gratitude for each of you who has chosen to be here today.  During the ceremony this afternoon, we respectfully request that you silence and put away all cell phones and cameras so we can all be fully present in this moment.
 
Name and Name have come before us today with the intention to marry one another; their love for each other has brought them to this place.  Neither I nor any other can join these two lovers today. Only they can do what they have chosen. They are joining themselves, each to the other.  We, by our participation in this celebration, do but recognize and honor their intention to dwell together as husband and wife.

Marriage is a dedication.  You give yourself into the hands of the one you love.  You do so trustingly and generously. By the same token, each of you receives a gift, the life, and love of each other.  
​

Moment of Reflection

This day will be filled with love and joy and laughter and will pass more quickly than can be imagined.  The couple has requested a brief pause to reflect and absorb this moment in their lives; to look, listen, and feel; to fix these sensations in their memories for years to come.

Words about Love and Marriage

Whenever we attend a wedding, we are given the opportunity to reflect on our own relationships. We might look at the couple before us and be tempted to compare their love to the quality of our relationships. The truth is that every couple is as unique as the individuals in it, but one thing holds true: For love to exist between two people, each person must allow the vulnerability of giving his or her love to the other, and each must be open to receiving the other’s love in turn. Therefore each of us is a powerful creator of love. Each of us, every moment of every day, has the choice to dedicate ourselves to one another or to withhold our love and caring.

If you ask couples who have a strong and abiding love what they like most about their partners, many will say when they are with that person they don’t have to pretend to be anything other than what they are. They are able to express themselves without fear of being judged or rejected. There is room in the relationship for both of them to be unique individuals. They are free to surrender to the vulnerability of true intimacy—to be known and loved unconditionally.

When two people are happily married, they enjoy each other’s company with the greatest delight and excitement. As many moments they might spend together and as many conversations they might share, it could never be enough. They can find endless joy in discovering each other and in sharing their being with the other. A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.

 It has been said that the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.

Declaration of Intent

Name and Name, before this moment you have been many things to one another, but now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, words that will irreversibly alter the relationship between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this—is my husband; this—is my wife. (Or my partner for life)  It is relatively simple to stand here and say these words today, but far more difficult to live them day to day. When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way. That is impossible. Yet that is what most of us expect. We forget the ebb and flow of life and of love and of relationships. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity. But in love, as in life, the only stability is in change, in growth, and in freedom. Therefore what you promise today must be renewed and reaffirmed tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come.

Vows

Partner 1

Name, do you take Name to be the wife/husband/partner of your days, the companion of your heart, and the friend of your life? To stand united in the face of adversity and bask together in the light of good fortune?  With these words spoken, do you wish to marry Name and join your life with hers/him/theirs?

Partner 2

Name, do you take Name to be the husband/wife/partner of your days, the companion of your heart, and the friend of your life? To stand united in the face of adversity and bask together in the light of good fortune? With these words spoken, do you wish to marry Name and join your life with his/hers/theirs?

Partner 1

Name, do you vow to love Name faithfully, to be worthy of her/his/their trust and deserving of her/his/their respect, to support, comfort, and strengthen her/him/them through life's joys and sorrows, and to love her/him/them without reservation, all the days of your life?

Partner 2

Name, do you vow to love Name faithfully, to be worthy of his/her/their trust and deserving of his/her/their respect, to support, comfort, and strengthen him/her/them through life's joys and sorrows, and to love him/her/them without reservation, all the days of your life?

Ring Exchange

For generations, the passage of two people into the state of marriage has been marked by the exchange of rings.  

Rings hold deep symbolic meaning. The circle is an ancient symbol representing notions of totality, wholeness, perfection, and the infinite. It implies an idea of movement and symbolizes the cycle of time. It symbolizes both the potential and the completion, the eternal cycle of life.  Even as these circles, these rings, hold universal significance, they are also personally significant to these two here today.  They are a constant reminder of the bond between a husband and a wife. A visible, tangible symbol of their commitment to each other.  Let these rings be a sign that love has substance as well as soul, a present as well as a past, and that this person has been chosen, this person walks not alone through life.


Name, please place this ring on Name’s finger and repeat after me:

Name, Let this ring be a symbol of my promises to you and a reminder of my devotion to you. I am honored to call you my wife/husband/partner for life.

Name, please place this ring on Name’s finger and repeat after me:
Let this ring be a symbol of my promises to you and a reminder of my devotion to you. I am honored to call you my husband/wife/partner for life.

Final Words

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be a companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, patience, and compassion, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.  Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your love deserves.  If each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.  May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Go now and enter into the days of your life together.   

Pronouncement

Name and Name, you have each betrothed yourself to the other in love and compassion, and you have taken upon yourselves the responsibilities of a profound and loving friendship.  In the presence of these witnesses and in keeping with tradition, you have spoken the words and performed rites that have united your lives. Having so affirmed, I now pronounce that you are husband and wife/Married Partners!!!

You may seal this marriage with a kiss!


Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to present, for the first time ...
​

** Formal Ceremony 1 ** Formal Ceremony 2 - Traditional, Non-Religious ** Formal Ceremony 3 - Modern and Romantic **
** Formal Ceremony 4 - Short and Sweet ** Formal Ceremony 5 - Christian-lite ** Formal Ceremony 6 - Secular Humanist **
** Formal Ceremony 7 - Interfaith-Jewish ** Formal Ceremony 8 - Modern Handfasting ** Formal Ceremony 9 - Christian Traditional **
​** Formal Ceremony 10 **​

 Family and friends, thank you for joining us here today as we join Name and Name in marriage. It is our joy to witness and celebrate their wedding in a rich celebration, sustained as we are in the mysterious power of all creation and whose core is Love. 
Name and Name come here today as two individuals seeking to become one in marriage.  By choosing to marry, you do not lose your individuality but instead, enter into a promise of a new life united in your love.  And we, your family and friends, have gathered here to share in your joy and to ask the infinite power in creation to bless you. We hold that marriage is a gift, sealed by a tender, lasting, sacred covenant. 

The marriage of Name and  Name brings together two different families and their two unique storylines.  Today, a new chapter in their lives begins to unfold. Although this relationship was formed out of the love these two have found in each other, their marriage will ultimately be blessed by the support of their families.  At this time, I formally ask for that blessing.

Name’s mother and father, Name and Name, do you offer this couple your goodwill?  Do you welcome Name as a member of your family and give him/her your love and affection?  Parents: We do.

Name’s mother and father, Name and Name, do you offer this couple your goodwill?  Do you welcome Name as a member of your family and give him/her your love and affection?  Parents: We do.
 
All of you here present, As these two people join together in marriage, they ask for the support and love of not only their families but of their friends as well. On this day, they ask that you be more than only Friends and family and honored guests, will you recognize this special union as well?  Welcoming the marriage of Name and Name into your lives?  If so, please say, “we will.”  Everyone:  We will

Thank you. 
​
Name and Name have chosen to perform a handfasting as part of their wedding ceremony today.  You may be asking, what is handfasting? Good question!

Handfasting is an ancient custom used long before there were legalities to marriage, and before marriages were performed in churches or synagogues.  There was a time when to be seen in public holding hands was a sign that a couple was exclusive to one another and the handfasting ceremony is built around that holding of hands.  During a handfasting, the couple holds hands and their hands are symbolically tied together and they say their vows.  If you are a fan of the movies Princess Bride or Braveheart, or the series Game of Thrones - They all had handfastings.  It might be said that the act of handfasting inspired the terms “Bonds of Holy Matrimony” and “Tie the knot.”

Handfasting is part of the marriage celebration in earth-based religions where the couple links hands, to form an infinity circle, symbolizing the entirety of the universe as represented in their relationship.

With that in mind, Name and Name, please join hands in the infinity circle. 

Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals that give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage. 

With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent to something greater, to the mystical power of love itself. The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth. 

Declaration of Intent

I now ask you both:

Do you both seek to enter into this ceremony where you will make the commitment to each other to live together as marriage partners? 
Couple: Yes, We Seek to Enter.

Dedication (Blessing) of the Hands

You are holding hands today during this ceremony to symbolize your physical joining in a spiritual covenant. Remember that marriage itself is active engagement. You will, at some point, have to get your hands dirty working at it. With that in mind, remember that: 

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness and hold you when fear or grief racks your mind. 

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase your dreams. Together, everything you wish for can be realized.
 
Prepare the cords
Today we will use this cord to symbolize the binding or promises.  

The First Promise 
Also known as the binding

Partner 1

Name, Will you be Name’s faithful partner for life? 
Yes, I will.

Partner 2

Name, Will you be Name’s faithful partner for life? 
Yes, I will.

Both

Will you be each other’s constant friends and one true love? 
Both: Yes, We will.

And so the binding is made. 
The cord is wrapped around the couple's wrist. 

The second promise 

Partner 1

Name, do you promise to love Name without reservation? 
Yes, I do. 

Partner 2

Name, do you promise to love Name without reservation? 
Yes, I do. 

Both

Will both of you stand by one another in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want?
Both: Yes, We do.

And so the binding is made. 
The cord is wrapped around the couple's wrist.


The Third Promise 

Partner 1

Name, will you stand together with Name in your times of joy and sorrow? 
Yes, I will.

Partner 2

Name, will you stand together with Name in your times of joy and sorrow? 
Yes, I will.

Both
Will the two of you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union? 
Both answer: Yes, we will 

And so the binding is made. 
The cord is wrapped around the couple's wrist.

The Fourth Promise

Partner 1

Name, do you promise you will always be open and honest with Name, for as long as you both shall live?
Yes, I promise. 

Partner 2

Name, do you promise you will always be open and honest with Name, for as long as you both shall live?
Yes, I promise. 

Both

Will the two of you dream together to create new realities and hopes for this marriage? 
Yes, we will 

And so the binding is made. 
The cord is wrapped around the couple's wrist.

The Fifth Promise

Partner 1

Name, Will you honor this Person/man/woman? 
Name: I will 

Partner 2

Name, Will you honor this Person/man/woman? 
Name: I will 

Both

Will you both seek to cherish and strengthen that honor? 
Both:  Yes, We will

And so the binding is made. 
The cord is wrapped around the couple's wrist.

Binding of All Promises

Remove cord while saying:
The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union. 
 
Blessing and Exchange of Rings 

May we have the rings, please?

These rings are circles, symbols that remind us of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe. Symbols of holiness, of perfection, of peace, and that which has no beginning and no end. 

In this moment, let us all bring our blessing to these rings so that they may remain symbols of unity and commitment. Grant that the love which Name and Name have for each other now may always be as unending as these rings. Let us take a moment and send our prayers, our thoughts, and our love to these rings so that as they wear them, they will carry our love with them as well. 

Name and Name, as you wear these rings throughout your marriage and your lives, may they remind you of the love you share with one another. 

Name, as you place the ring on Name’s finger, please repeat after me:

With this ring, I thee wed, let it ever be a symbol of my love.

Name, as you place the ring on Name’s finger, please repeat after me:

With this ring, I thee wed, let it ever be a symbol of my love.
 
Recognition Of Marriage 

Only a couple can seal the promise of marriage to each other, and only a couple can bind it. No power vested in me by the state can grant me the authority to declare what only these two hearts can declare, and what only these two souls can make real. 

And so now, inasmuch as you, Name, and you, Name, have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these, your family and friends, -- we observe joyfully that you are now married. 
​

Maybe you are writing your own wedding ceremony or maybe you are putting together the program for your wedding before you send it off to the printer and you are asking yourself, how exactly does this work?  Are there different parts of a ceremony and, what are they called?

The first thing I want to point out is, there is no right or wrong.  There are no absolutes.  If you are getting married in a church or religious institution, they have a set way of performing a wedding.  Ask them what that is and then use their information to print your program.  (Trying to decide if you should print a program? Click Here)  If you are writing your own ceremony or working with a professional wedding officiant, it’s really up to you what you put in your wedding ceremony.  I’ve put this website together for myself and the couples I marry and anyone else who would like to use it.  There may be other words people use or have been traditionally used. This is my personal version and it’s always open to revision.  I want you to have the wedding ceremony you want and I make suggestions and share my experiences so you have more information to make your own decisions. If I’m your wedding officiant, I look it as my job to support your decisions.  ​

It has become very popular to announce an unplugged ceremony.  It's when you ask your guests to silence and put away cell phones and refrain from taking pictures during the wedding.  There are opinions about this and it can be worded in many different ways. 

There is usually as sign, isn't that enough? 

Maybe.  I usually think of it as eye-candy.  It's a cute sign to look at but people may not pay attention.  It's better to say something at the right time. 

You may think it's rude to ask your guests to do this. 

I get that!  You may know your family better and know it's pointless to ask!  Some couples simply ask guests to stay seated during their ceremony instead of standing up and taking pictures. Some couples want you to keep the wedding off of social media.  

I've heard some photographers will give you a discount if you announce an unplugged ceremony! 

Some couples want their guests to have an opportunity to take pictures during their ceremony.  They also want their professional photographers to take great pictures.  You can give your guests an opportunity to take a phone-shot with their phones at the beginning of the ceremony and then put their phones away, or right before your pronouncement. 

This is how everyone enters the ceremony.  If you are having a small wedding or eloping, you might just gather around, with the couple holding hands and facing each other.  If you are having a formal wedding, you will decide how everyone is going to enter or walk down the aisle.  Who will escort grandparents or the mother of the bride? Perhaps both parents will escort both the bride and the groom down the aisle?  ​

 If you are having a secular, or non religious, ceremony, you can leave this out.  It could also be replaced with something secular like a poem about love.  ​

 As a wedding officiant, I love to say to the couple “Welcome to your wedding!”  All the planning that goes into your wedding day and the momentous occasion of walking down the aisle and being in this place of actually going through the process of being married and exchanging vows is huge! You’ve just had the emotion of maybe seeing each other for the first time on your wedding day or finally experiencing the moment of walking down the aisle. I love to take just those few seconds to breathe and acknowledge that particular moment for what it is, even if they are the only two people to hear it.  The wedding ceremony is about the two of you exchanging vow and making promises to last a lifetime. 

Of course, after I welcome you, the couple, I welcome everyone who came from far and wide, thanking them for being there and making the trip.  We might also take time to say hello to those people joining via video chat from a distance. If the wedding is being videotaped for an elderly person to watch later, I like to acknowledge them as they are there in real time. Some couples do their best to do a live video chat but if they can’t, they take a video to show them later.  ​

This is when we take a moment to acknowledge those who aren’t present at the wedding.  Either they couldn’t make it or they have passed away.  For some couples this is very important. They want to remember those who have recently passed away.  I know personally, my father will always remember our grandmothers on special occasions, especially a wedding, knowing how special and important it would have been for them if they were there. I always caution couples when they decide to do this.  If someone recently passed away it may do more harm than good because it will stir up emotions. You can name actual people or, you can make a blanket statement.  Some couples simply leave it out.  The day is about them and those present.  End of story.  I once had a couple use the phrase, “We’d like to remember those who are not here today, either they are no longer with us or they had something better to do.”  Think about it, it was a realistic statement! ​

This can be something different for everyone.  They could be an outward and visible sign of the vows you’ve made. They can mean, you are “taken” when you go to a bar.  They could could symbolize the unending circles that they are, like love, they have no beginning and not end.  They can be a daily reminder that there is one other person in the world that has pledged to love you, forever.  Some couples are choosing tattoo’s over actual rings and some couples are choosing not to wear them or one person is choosing not to wear a ring, for whatever reason.  I thought that was really odd the first time I heard it.  However, the bride really didn’t care and they decided to spend the money on something else.  I have a friend that got married late in life and her husband also chose to forego the ring. He works with his hands every day and with electricity.  There are non-metal wedding band these days a lot of couples are choosing however, there is no law that states you must wear a ring.  ​

 This is for a religious wedding.  I never really thought about it until I was performing a christian wedding for a couple in their backyard.  We didn’t include a blessing of the rings.  At the end of the wedding the father of the bride was quite upset.  He said, “You didn’t bless the rings!  If they walk into the house without having their rings blessed it’s bad luck!”  There was no logic in the statement, but we stopped, bowed our heads, and I blessed the rings.  Other couples have specifically asked for me to bless the rings during the ceremony. ​

 There are a lot of options for unity ceremonies.  This is another thing I have mixed feelings about  There are things to do during your wedding that having incredible meaning at this point.  If you are joining two families with children there may be vows to the children or some sort of unity ceremony, like the sand ceremony.  Maybe the couple can express themselves in a really fun way during their wedding ceremony with a unity ceremony.  The unity candle honors their mothers in a beautiful way and is common in a Catholic wedding so mother’s appreciate it if you aren’t getting married in the church.   Tying a knot or doing a box ceremony.  They can have a powerful meaning or be really fun during your ceremony.  Just remember you don’t have to do a unity ceremony if you don’t want to.  It’s not in any way a required part of your wedding.  You may not want to spend the money on the supplies or it may just not completely unnecessary to you.  ​

   In a Christian wedding, a final prayer can be offered, or a mixture of many.  ​

 “ I now pronounce you married!”  “I now pronounce you husband and wife!”  Man and wife is definitely out of style, for the most part.  There are a few ways you can say this.  ​

“You may seal this marriage with a kiss” or, “You may kiss your bride!” ​

It has become very popular to announce an unplugged ceremony.  It's when you ask your guests to silence and put away cell phones and refrain from taking pictures during the wedding.  There are opinions about this and it can be worded in many different ways. 

Many venues provide cute signs, or you may choose to invest in one for your ceremony thinking it will do the trick.  I think the signs are really cute but I think it's better to say something at the right time during the ceremony so guest actually get the message. 

This is not for everyone - and for more than one reason.  You may know your family better and know it's pointless to ask!  Some couples simply ask guests to stay seated during their ceremony instead of standing up and taking pictures. Some couples want you to keep the wedding off of social media.  

I talked to a  photographers that said she offers a discount if you announce an unplugged ceremony! ​

This is something new - at least to me.  You can choose to give your guests an opportunity to use their phones to take a picture  - all at the same time during the ceremony.  You might choose to do it at the beginning or at the end before you are pronounced married.  It can be fun!

Father in heaven, You ordained marriage for your children, and you gave us love. We present to You Name and Name, who come this day to be married. May the covenant of love they make be blessed with true devotion and spiritual commitment. We ask that You, God, will give them the ability to keep the covenant they have made. When selfishness shows itself, grant generosity; when mistrust is a temptation, give moral strength; when there is misunderstanding, give patience and gentleness; if suffering becomes a part of their lives, give them a strong faith and an abiding love. Amen.​

Welcome Everyone!  Thank you for traveling from far and wide to be here today as Name and Name are joined in Marriage. Each of you has played an important part in their lives helping to make them the people they are.  Your love for them has fueled the fire for them to find the true and lasting love that we celebrate today.  They are grateful for each you and are honored by your presence here with them today.  ​

Love has brought Name and Name together. But what do we mean by love? When we love, we see things other people do not. We see beneath the surface to the qualities, which make our beloved special and unique. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty. And to be loved is to be known, as we are known to no other. We who love, can look at each other’s life and say, “I touched his life,” or, “I touched her life,” just as an artist might say, “I touched this canvas.” “Those brushstrokes in the comer of this magnificent mural, those are mine. I was a part of this life, and it is a part of me.” Marriage is to belong to each other through a unique and diverse collaboration, like two threads crossing in different directions, yet weaving one tapestry together. The secret of love and marriage is to be in love and in trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. And it takes faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both. The true art of married life is an intimate, interpersonal journey. It is a mutual enrichment, a give and take between two personalities, which diminishes neither, but enhances both  It is, ultimately, the emergence of something greater than the individuals could never be alone. ​

Name and Name, your love for each other is what has brought you to this day and it will be the foundation of your marriage and your life together.   May your love create a safe haven for you both on the journey that lies ahead of you. Remember to lead with your hearts and take the time to do the simple things that will nurture your love. Deeply listen to each other—to your dreams, and to your frustrations. Be helpmates. Be playful in finding new ways to give your love anew to each other every day.  Let your love be an inspiration to others to reach for what is good within us all. May your love be so abundant that you have plenty to share with the rest of us as well. It is your love that has brought us together here today. May it grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year.

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person, With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body. Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, who won't hold them against me, Who loves me when I'm unlikable, who sees the small child in me, and who looks for the divine potential of me. Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night with someone who thanks God for me, with someone I feel blessed to hold. Because marriage means opportunity to grow in love and friendship, because marriage is a discipline to be added to a list of achievements, because marriage do not fail, people fail when they enter into marriage expecting another to make them whole. Because knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility for my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness. I create me. I take half of the responsibility for my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness. I create me. I take half of the responsibility for my marriage.  Together we create our marriage.  Because of this understanding, the possibilities are limitless. ​

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your root was so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener and critic. And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.​

Name and Name, do you, with your family and friends as your witnesses, present yourselves willingly and of your own accord to be joined in marriage?

We do

Will you promise to care for each other in the joys and sorrows of life, come what may, and to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together?

We will

Name, please repeat after me:

I, Name, take you Name, to be my Husband/Wife/Partner-in-marriage
I give to you in the presence of these witnesses
My promise to stay by your side,
In sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow,
As well as through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
Comfort you in times of distress
Encourage you to achieve all of your goals,
Laugh with you and cry with you,
Grow with you in mind and spirit
Always be open and honest with you,
And cherish you for as long as we both shall live​​

Do you, Name, take, Name, to be your partner for life. Do you promise to walk by her/his/their side forever, and to love, help, and encourage her/him/them in all she/he/they(do) does? Do you promise to take time to talk with her/him/them, to listen to  her/him/them, and to care for her/him/them? Will you share her/his/their laughter, and her/his/their tears, as her/his/their partner, lover, and best friend?
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Groom/Bride, will you have this woman/man to be your wedded wife/husband/spouse to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Will you love her/him/them? Comfort her/him/them, honor and keep her/him/them, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him/them as long as you both shall live?

Please repeat after me:

In the name of God, I, Name, take you, Name, to be my wife/husband/spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.​

The words below are my opinion.  Do with them what you will.  Every wedding officiant has an opinion.  My goal is to help to inspire you to make your wedding ceremony your own.  If this is not this path to perfection for you, no worries!  You don’t have to write your own vows and I have plenty of material already written you are welcome to use.
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A few years ago, I received the question - How do we write our wedding vows?  
 
I had never really given any thought as to how to write your own wedding vow.  The words and ‘vows’ you share with your partner on your wedding day are thoughts and feelings that come from the heart.  There is no right or wrong.  
 
What they were really looking for was an outline to help them collect and organize their thoughts. 
 
When I’m helping a couple personalize their wedding ceremony they often ask if I need their vows ahead of time or if I need to check them and make sure they are OK.  I don’t.  I’m happy to read them over if you want me to but I would never correct you.  You can’t get it wrong - ever.  I’m certainly in no position to judge your heart!
 
Coupes are sometimes afraid their vows won’t ‘match up’ with their partner’s vows.  I think that’s impossible.  We all have our own ways of expressing ourselves and, by your wedding day, you probably already know enough about your partner to know each other’s hearts and intentions.  
 
I will always remember a wedding I officiated where the groom had pages of vows.  We were all in tears listening to him express his love for his wife and her son.  When he was done, the bride took out a small sheet of steno paper and said exactly the same things in just a few sentences.  It was sincere and perfect. 
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What exactly are wedding vows?  

Essentially, a vow is a solemn promise to do something.  During a wedding ceremony, as your officiant I ask “Do you take this person to be your husband or wife?”  That’s what the law requires.  Are you promising to fulfill the contract of marriage?  There is a feeling of classic romance when I ask these questions - at least I think there is. 
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Beyond the Basic Vow

I  think when many couples are wondering about writing their own vows, they are thinking beyond the basics.  They want to say heartfelt, charming, and fun statements mixed in with the words of undying love.
 
Saying “I promise to love you, honor, respect, make sure we have gummy bears in the house, and not bother you when the Colts are playing the Patriots,” is probably what more people are looking to create as part of their wedding ceremony.  
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Do I have to say Obey?

If you want to promise to “Obey” that’s up to you.  What the two of you agree to in your one marriage is between the two of you.  If you choose to use the statement, that’s something you can write into your own vows. ;-)
 
 
Some couples want to quote the vows they have heard over and over again while watching their favorite movie.  I will love you to Infinity and Beyond! Or, “you and me, we’re in a club now…”  
 
 
Sometimes, everything I’ve written above is all a couple needs to hear and their imagination is sparked enough to take it from here.  Others, appreciate more direction.  Below is my direction. 
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Write Vows for YOU

When the question “do you want to write your own vows?” comes up, so can anxiety!  Many couples very much want to personally express their love for each other on their wedding day, they just don’t want to share it with the 150 people they invited to the wedding.  That is ABSOLUTELY OK!!!
 
Many couples will write their vows for each other and share them privately, before the ceremony.  They may do it during their first look, or, they will read the letters they’ve written for each other alone - with a photographer catching the moment.  They may use those letters as part of a unity ceremony during their actual ceremony creating a memory box or a wine box.  You do NOT have to share your intimacies with everyone!
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Give yourself permission to be honest.

Keeping in mind that  you don’t have to share your heart with the world, just your spouse, give yourself permission to be honest.  You are sitting down by yourself and thinking  your thoughts and feeling your emotions.  It’s part of a process, it’s not necessarily the final draft.  Life is a process!  Marriage is a process!  Enjoy the process!

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The (Not so) ULTIMATE Wedding Vow Writing Guide

Here is the guide I have put together.  It’s a guide to help you to do you. Please feel free to make it your own.   
 
These are some questions I ask couples when we start personalizing their ceremony.  They help me to get to know a couple and come up with ceremony ideas that match the tone of their relationship. They help serve as a way for you to collect your thoughts about your relationship.  Sometimes, we get caught in day to day life and we don’t think about our relationship because we are too busy living our relationship.  These questions can help you focus.
 
No one is ever required to answer the questions.  There might be one question that sparks all of your feelings and emotions.  Or, it may just be fun to answer them all.  


1. What are your hopes for the future?
2. What are three pivotal moments in your relationship?
3. Tell me about your first official date.
4. Tell me about the first time you met.
5. What is (or was) your favorite date?
6. When did you fall in love?
7 Why do you want to get married?
8. Favorite way to spend the day together


Now that your juices are flowing, here are some ways to take the thoughts and put them in some sort of order.​


Who is this person to me?

It could be something like “You are my best friend, partner in crime, mother to my children…”  "My True Companion, my soul mate."  
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What do I love about this person?

It could be one of the 3 pivotal moments in your relationship that made you see that this person is “The One.”  You might tell stories about your relationship here.  “When she made BBQ nachos and started lamenting the end of football season, I knew she was the one for me.”   Or, “when my cat was sick, he took us to the vet and took care of us.”  One groom had moved in with the bride’s parents while he looked for a job in the city the bride had found her dream job in so he could help her pay her rent until he was able to afford the move!

What are you promising?

Some people may just want to be funny, romantic, or serious. You may want to discuss this ahead of time. Maybe the two of you agree, you just want to be funny.   You may want to incorporate a little of everything.  
 
“I promise to support your dreams.”  
“I Promise to march alongside you in protest to support the rights of the underprivileged.”  
“I promise to support your team - unless they are playing my team.”
“I promise to kill the spiders.” 
“I promise to love your children as my own.” 
“I promise not to steal the covers.”  (Pro-tip:  I’ve been married for 30 years.  SEPARATE blankets are a very good idea!)
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Share your hopes and dreams for your future together.

What do the two of you dream of?  (Don’t feel bad if you don’t!)
You are going to buy land and build a house.  You are going to travel through South-East Asia and eat all the bugs sold in the marketplaces.  You are going to work hard to retire by 50.  You are going to have a house, 2 kids and a dog.  You promise to grow old together, getting to know each other a little more each day…
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In Good Times and Bad,  In Sickness and in Health.

You may want to elaborate on the traditional wedding vows.  Some couples say “for richer or richer!”  because they never want to be poor - or they KNOW who of them is high maintenance and they LOVE that about them! COVID has changed a lot of families and relationships, mentioning that could be a poignant moment.  Taking care of each other during pregnancy might be a topic too.  
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End with a bang!

This may be to recite the actual traditional wedding vows with feeling, emotion and gusto! “I take you as my spouse to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part!  You may change these for you.  You may say “for as long as love shall last.” or “Forever and Always.” or anything else you may choose to say. (Pro tip:  Don’t use “for as long as love shall last” unless you have already agreed on that!)
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Now, take what you’ve learned and make it your own. 


Now that you’ve read the guide, make it your own.  The two of you may want to discuss how you want to approach this together.  Maybe you want to keep it light?  Maybe you want to be very serious.  You may want to put some guidelines together as to how you want to approach this part of your ceremony as a team.  You may not want to share personal stories or anecdotes.  That’s perfectly OK. Don’t do anything that embarasses the other person or makes them feel uncomfortable.  Some couples don’t want their ceremony to be personalized in such a way.  That’s perfectly OK.  Just agree on it ahead of time.  


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It’s OK to look for inspiration!  


I’ve collected and share vows from all over.  The one thing I will say is this.  Don’t just use someone else's vows as they are written.  If your partner really wants to write their own vows, they will probably have read many examples.  Don’t just use one of those examples and try to pass it off as your own as it’s already written.  It shows you really don’t care.  At least say something like, “I’m really not good at this, but I’ve been inspired by the words of others to help me express myself…”
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Wedding rings are symbols of the journey taken together, a completion of one chapter and the start of another. ​

The rings are the universal symbols of marriage.  They mean many things.  From now on you will wear these rings and they will remind you...  They will remind you of the endless circle that they are.  Like love, there is no beginning and no end.  They will remind you daily that you are married.  Sometimes they will remind you of the commitment that you have made - for better or worse.  But, may they always remind you that there is one other person in the world that has pledged to love you forever, through thick and through thin and with all that they have. ​